Yes, I’m a Star Trek fan, a Star Wars fan and all that Sci-Fi stuff has taught me a lot over the years, especially about holding space. No, I didn’t know it at the time. Google “Holding Space” and see what comes up.
Holding Space isn’t easy and it requires constant practice, just like any form of meditation, yoga, dance, play, etc. The most important aspect of holding space is holding your own space. Take a deep breath in, exhale down through your feet, get grounded and notice your surroundings. And here’s what you do to Hold Space:
- Get rid of judgement. That’s hard! Isn’t it? I won’t be able to do this well enough, I’m not worthy of space, I might fail…are all judgements. Be worthy of your own time. When holding space for another don’t judge their emotions toward others, don’t judge how they handle stress, don’t judge anything.
- Bring in an open heart. Holding space means caring about something else. They need a safe, caring place to deal with whatever it is. They need to be heard and allowed to feel and experience life in their own way. Have the heart to do that or help find someone who can hold that space.
- Give your full attention to holding that space. Shut the phone off if you have to, get comfortable and make sure that whatever you are holding space for gets all your attention. When you can no longer hold space, don’t feel bad. Find someone else to hold space if you can, but don’t harm yourself by attempting to hold space that you can’t.
- Stifle your ego. Stifle your ego, stifle your ego. I can’t say this enough. You aren’t holding space to provide solutions or make things better, you aren’t their saviour or their hero or anything else. You are there just to let another person or thing experience what they need to. Your ego gets in the way of holding neutral space.
- Listen to Listen, don’t Listen to Respond. You aren’t their to provide answers or solutions and you aren’t the hero or the saviour. You are just their to listen.
- Be as neutral as possible. Explore that one on your own. What does it mean to be neutral
As you move throughout your day how can you hold space where you are? In your car, can you hold space for other drivers? At the coffee shop or grocery store? At the doctors office? For your kids? For your fellow artists or dancers, or musicians? Just don’t hold space for me, that’s gross.
On Another Note
September 21st until October 1st I will be camping in TN, no you can’t come along.
October 3rd and 4th is the Pine Lake Festival and I will be there helping all the people heal.
See y’all later!